If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Too much gin, very little bucket
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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