I'm going to jail i love you
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
