I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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