Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
