There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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