Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
