She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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