The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize