everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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