If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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