they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
