it wasn't lemon gatorade
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
