That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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