Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
