hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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