so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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