She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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