I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
