Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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