ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
