Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
