Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
