i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
