The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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