I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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