dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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