it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
