My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Is it because I queefed?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
