I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
