don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
