I'm lost and stupid without you.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
