we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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