I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize