Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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