the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
