it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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