Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
