Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
