I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
