eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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