Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
