I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize