My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
