just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
