i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
