just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
