Just cropdusted the office
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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