Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
