I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
