To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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