Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize