So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I didn't notice because vodka
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
