No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
