lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
