Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
