He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
