Just fell off a train. Bad.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
True strength comes from lack of pants
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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