I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
