singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
