I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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