So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
