I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
