you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
