I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
