i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
