Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
