I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize