im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
