omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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