She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
