Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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