Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
