Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
