So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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