you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
